Sex love and marriage

A few months ago, a famous South African ex-rugby player (Joost van der Westhuizen) got caught up in a sex scandal involving a sex-tape, revelations from jilted ex-lovers and more. The details don't concern me much. However I read an old article last night where a number of people revealed how they would have reacted in that situation, if they were his wife, the famous singer Amor Vittone.

The magazine has a slightly Christian slant, hence they interviewed prominent preachers' wives amongst others.

One contributor stated that once there is an affair (DEF: A romantic and sexual relationship, sometimes one of brief duration, between two people who are not married to each other.) or a fling (DEF: A brief sexual or romantic relationship.), the marriage is over. They are no longer "wed-locked", the lock is broken.

She went on to state that any woman who carries on with a marriage as it were, is in denial and oblivious to what's taken place. Forgiveness is possible, but getting the marriage back to where it was, the couple would have to start afresh.

Now, love and a marriage takes time to build. It can't just happen overnight, therefore if your husband cheated on you, it is highly unlikely that he loved the person he did it with. Therefore he has not betrayed your love.

Marriage is not only about sex, therefore ending a marriage just over sex, would be crazy. Marriage is about companionship, mutual respect, mutual support and caring. If you don't get that in a marriage you are likely to try find it elsewhere and then your fling might in fact lead to an affair, in which case it had nothing to do with sex.

However, many people that do get everything from their marriages, might still experience chemistry with another person. That's simply human nature.

My idea would be to forgive, forget and move on from there. Of course counseling is advised and working together from both sides.

A loving spouse would be quick to pick up if their spouse feels neglected on any level and then they would try to fill that gap, which would go a long way to preventing affairs.